Buy in or Get out
This speaker (David Stollman) came to my school today to talk about Greek life to our Greek community. It was a required event for both fraternities and sororities. And I think it was absolutely fantastic. The concept is “Buy in or get out”. Meaning, people who don’t buy in completely to the idea behind fraternities and sororities (which would be promoting academic achievement, leadership, sisterhood or brotherhood, service, values and moral behavior) should not be in Greek life. The point of it is not to be social. It is an added benefit.
The Greek system at my school is pretty unique. That being said, I still think using this logic, and really getting back down to the roots and meaning of fraternities and sororities, is a transformation that could do even us a world of good. I think we still have people who don’t completely “buy in”. And the thing is, I think those same people would buy in more from the beginning if there weren’t negative stereotypes that exist that people continue to reinforce! It is embarrassing. People now join Greek life sometimes EXPECTING the negative stereotypes and then emulating that behavior because they assume that’s what it is about. We sometimes attract the wrong people. The stereotypes don’t just affect the outside world’s interpretation of Greek life, it affects our own interpretation. Let’s change that interpretation. Even at my own little school.
I think that Stollman’s focus on topics such as rape and sexual assault and greek’s presentation of themselves were really appropriate and important. I don’t understand how girls (all girls, not just women in the Greek system. But because it focused on improving Greeks’ image that is of whom he was speaking) have gotten to the point where we use the word “bitch” so often in reference to ourselves or friends in a funny manner. Don’t! It doesn’t show respect for anyone, yourself included. And it only encourages other people to use it as well, in a way you probably aren’t going to find as funny. And women, do you want more respect from men? Do you want to be pursued? I mean asked out on a date, woo-ed: not stalked on facebook and then at the bar. Then stop dressing like a night walker! Stollman is completely right! Don’t GO to the golf pro’s and tennis ho’s parties. Or sec’s and execs. Or school girl’s party! If you don’t GO to events that are so degrading and belittling, then you show that you respect yourself more and you demand respect from other people. (*Note* this does NOT mean that men EVER have a right to treat a woman without respect, no matter how she is dressed. The same is true of men!!) But women, respect yourselves, demand respect by doing so. Men, Stollman hit the nail on the head with sexual assault. All fraternities are founded on values that not only do not promote or support sexual assault, but actually should actively stand against it. Fraternities and their houses should embrace and reflect these values. Stollman pointed out that women SHOULD be able to feel safest at fraternities. Strive for that!
My last tidbit. He asked if we had to choose between having any social events or having our ritual, which would we choose? Answer wisely, because one means you are here to stay, and the other means you probably shouldn’t have joined in the first place.
http://www.campuspeak.com/speakers/stollman
